We are very good at rewarding our children. Whether a trophy for every player (is that still a point of conversation?) or a piece of candy for every time one listens. And it’s not just now, but well before trophies became a sign of involvement over a sign of achievement. This ideology goes well into the childhood years of my time, and even those before us. Maybe the rewards weren’t passed out as readily, but in the way of each generation, we found it appropriate to engrain into our little minds that good behavior reaps a corresponding reward. The greater the accomplishment, the obedience, the behavior, the reward was often elevated. No harm it would seem, except when used exclusively we realize that a child has very little incentive to simply listen if not for some self-serving purpose. Reverence, obedience, respect – we may use these words as adults but they are more for our benefit. They mean little to a child if they have been conditioned to associate respect with reward and not much else.
I don’t speak these words to persuade your parenting. As a mama of two girls, I know the ease of a good bribe, but rather how this condition goes beyond that and seeps deeply into our human nature. My parents used very little by way of incentives from what I can recall. We simply obeyed, because that’s what you did (although I’m sure ice cream was occasionally involved.) Nonetheless, I was taught the importance of respect as a discipline, all the while being loved extravagantly in the safety of their instruction, and I am deeply thankful for that. Yet, I still find myself believing that good behavior produces even better things. Particularly when it comes to my faith.
To speak personally, my family is in a time of great transition. The unknown of what comes next feels like it may shape the entire trajectory of our girls’ childhood. The emotions are understandably anxiousness met with excitement, depending on the day. Today is a hard day. My parents just spent a week with us, and went back home out east this morning. I miss them dearly. I wonder if I will ever be given the chance to live life with them on a day to day basis rather than all at once. An invitation to come over for a morning up of coffee, and not because they woke up in our living room. With recent changes in my work responsibilities, I have been free to create, to write, to photograph, to dream, though what I have envisioned may not be in line with life to come. So I am left with a rough outline, and faith. And temptingly enough, faith rooted in a hope that what I envision will come to fruition. Perhaps, if I just believe more assuredly or read more consistently or pray more befittingly, then the reward of my faith will be the fulfillment of my satisfaction. Although all I have done is diminished the beauty of faith down to a star chart, where the better I perform, the greater the reward. As a child it may have been a lollipop or ice cream cone, and as an adult it’s a perfect house or the right job. We are more childlike than we think, but at some point, our understanding of reward needs to change. To those that walk in the integrity of faith out of love for God and His wisdom, the reward is already ours. From a Father who delights in giving us good things. May we follow him steadfastly not because we hope for a rewarded life, but because He is God and He is good and He is safe and He is worthy. May that be the only incentive we need, and be rest assured that beyond that, good things will indeed be given.
EXPOSITION: Do you find yourself equating faith, even unintentionally, with reward? What do you long for that you presume God is holding as an incentive for your obedience? Do you fear that if you let go of a reward-based faith that you will need to give up the things you really want?
RISE: On a sheet of paper, draw a single vertical line down the middle. On the left side jot down areas of your life that would contribute to your spiritual integrity: i.e. time in prayer, patience with your coworkers, etc. On the right side, note an attribute of God’s character that you could see as an incentive for growth in that area. For example, across “time in prayer” might be, “recognizing that I can have a conversation with the God who made me, and He actually listens”, or if you were patient with your coworkers, your incentive might be that in your patience they will experience a bit of God’s graciousness through you.
On a second sheet of paper, jot down the things you hope for. Now ask God for them. Seriously! Remember, he loves giving his children good things, and although his answer may not always be “yes”, may your asking for them not be the reason for your following Him.
DENOUEMENT: “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”