“I just think she wants us to know what she needs without having to communicate it.”
No sooner did those words come out of my mouth than Jordan and I looked across the breakfast table at one another and both gave a quick smirk. Our just-about-six-weeks-away-from-two year old has seemed to find it much more practical to simply express herself with immediate fits. Not at all times mind you, but there are certainly those moments where she doesn’t want to tell you what she needs. She just wants you to know. And if you don’t – well – get on it.
Certainly as her parents we will do our best to not only understand, but help her communicate, and in a way that is both respectful and clear. Such will be a pursuit for the next several years, and that of any parent. Although there must have been a reason that Jordan and I smirked at one another from across the table. Seems that communication, and all its challenges, is by no means limited to the toddler. We all communicate in the ways that suit us. And perhaps often times without someone to help us understand how to communicate better.
To go on a frenzy here talking about communication could very well be a book of thought, which is why the topic itself has grossed what I can only assume to be a rather large number in hard cover and kindle sales, given our longing to get communication right. Although may I go out on limb, as the expression goes, and say that perhaps we all would like to secretly (or not so secretly) revert to what toddlers default to by instinct.
The desire to be heard without having to say a word.
And when that is not the case, a temper tantrum will do just fine.
We all go about this in our own way from time to time. The passive aggressive, the gossiper, the victimized employee, the meek spouse. All having something to say, but never quite saying it in the way that would prove helpful to the relationship at hand. We just want people to get it. And the thing is, it’s never our problem that they don’t. Never mind them not being able to understand what you have not permitted them to hear.
EXPOSITION: Take a hard look at yourself. Whether a gossiper, the passive aggressive, or something else entirely, how do you deal with your desire to be heard without having to speak?
RISE: Start with someone close to you. Begin communicating to them in a way that is clear, honest, and unassuming. They may surprise you, or the conversations may be extremely trying. There is no one size, or one moment, fits all when it comes to healthy communication. All the more reason for your intentionality.
DENOUEMENT: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” (a proverb of Solomon.. can you tell I really like this guy?)