Denial is not helpful to us.  Nor is naivety or negligence.  We are in an incredibly poor state of mental health.  Anxiety and depression are an epidemic.  I was speaking with a special eduction teacher only last week of how the psychological support on staff at the public school in which she works has easily doubled in her time of teaching.  I recall reading that the current mental state of our teenagers is that of a 50s mental patient.  With all our attention given to the similarly poor state of our physical health, we invest heavily in avenues to eat well, to go organic, to eliminate physical disparity through what we put in our mouths, yet we pay little attention to what we put in our minds.

My husband knows full well that I have a love-hate relationship with social media.  A love for coffee and one on one conversation will always leave me vying for a tactual encounter, yet I recognize that we rely very much on being known through digitally social means.  Even apart from relationships, as I have missed handfuls of gatherings because the invitation was sent solely on Facebook, any entrepreneurial endeavor is relegated to a strong social media presence.  Given my personal pursuits in photography, music, and teaching, I recognize that in order to really grow my business, an engaging platform via social means is essential, though not just a marketing ad, but the willingness to give to whomever might want it a sense of knowing me.  For we see ones work as not being limited to the work itself, but attached to that individual.  To which I might respond that truly I throw every ounce of myself into my art, but let’s be honest – we don’t want to simply know someone in their craft.  We want to know someone in their homes, with their children, Friday night plans, and where they vacation.  When you think about it, we’re really quite nosey.  An old pastor and dear friend made an astute observation that he shared with me: “You are tough to get to know, but once you let someone in, you give all of yourself.”  I paraphrase, and probably paint a far more gracious  picture than was to be given, but I know how to guard myself well.  At some points in life that ability was to my disadvantage, as well as to those around me.  Yet at other moments I have known the beauty of discerningly guarding ones heart.  My hope – actually, my prayer – as a young teenager was that I would end up marrying the first guy that I dated.  I was still served heartache and fell foolishly, but was all the while intent on reserving certain depths of myself for the man I would choose to walk through all of life with.  Jordan is my reward, and a safe reminder that guardedness can be a haven to us when we might otherwise long more desperately for easy access to intimacy. 

“So don’t use social media,” he says, after expressing my disinterest in sharing what I had for dinner with the world (or whoever happens to follow me on Instagram).  “But then don’t be surprised when you don’t book any photography sessions.”  Cue where a mic hits the floor, ricocheting across the stage hall of my entrepreneurial spirit.  Perhaps I have no choice.  Yet what is it worth?  The mental anxiety that spreads rather effortlessly over our screen inundated selves, malnourished in relationship but obese off of colorful stimulants and numbing upward swipes, albeit catering well to self-promotion and significance.  To disregard this necessity of being known, whether a student looking to maintain friendships in the only way he has been taught, or an artist looking to let her craft be her sustenance, would only downplay the significance of the cultural shift that has brought us here.  Yet to live in its existence as though there are no repercussions, or at least minimally considered, to the treatment of our minds is like walking towards a cliff under the assumption you will learn how to fly, or rather similarly guessing one would die before regularly eating Big Macs makes any difference. 

This conversation has so many facets, and I dare not touch them all.  Yet might it be fair to recognize the web we are spinning and examine the limbs which are already entangled.  You do not need to read extensive articles or pour over mental health statistics to uncover that you give less of yourself to your children when perusing Facebook, or that your understanding of relationships is skewed when you consider posting a story equal to sharing a meal at the table, or when you have convinced yourself that to fully experience a moment is to capture it with a photograph or share it with your followers.  Such has become normal to us – a life looking down.  We should fear what we might find once we have peeled our eyes away and looked up.

EXPOSITION: Culture is a tricky thing.  When we have normalized a movement societally, it may feel foolish to consider living contrary to that trend.  Sit in stillness for this one.  Ask your Creator for some guiding.  What facet of this conversation have you treated with little significance, but the depths of you recognize that you were not intended to live a life looking down?

RISE: Discipline.  A starting point that may remind you that your device is an expression of you, not an extension of you.  Give yourself a disconnected hour a day, day a week, and week a year.  (Jordan and I heard this challenge in a podcast and have especially since then loved implementing what we call “no phone Friday”.  Added bonuses include: instilling the value of detaching ourselves from our phones with our children and listening to vinyl records all day.)  Jot down some disciplines in your day and your week that intentionally guard your mind.  Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Upon waking, read something of an inspiring nature before turning to your phone
• Have a docking station for your device that’s not your back pocket
• Turn off notifications/banners.  Instead carve out segments of time where you intentionally check your email, analyze post likes, etc.  Nothing should have the ability to draw your attention away at any time of the day.  Give yourself back the ability to control what and when something has your mind.
• What one hour in the day will you let your mind rest?  Let it be consistent.  You can still be active – just be intentionally (not accidentally) free of your device.
• Don’t bring your phone to bed.  Seriously just don’t.  Or at least try it out for a week and see what happens.   (*Suggestion: screen down, sound off, on a dresser – or perhaps in another room altogether.)

DENOUEMENT: “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” (segment of Paul’s letter to the Philippians – The Message translation)