Seniors are graduating with virtual celebrations. You at last conquered e-learning. Or at least your children learned something every day… uh, week… so we’re calling it success. The always anticipated days of summer are at last here. Except. Wait, something feels different.
EVERYTHING IS CANCELLED!
Camps. Concerts. Water parks. Competitions. Ball games. Public pools. Fairs. Festivals.
Suddenly that baseball stand hot dog sounds amazing. A 2-hour line at the amusement park for a 30 second ride that you practically lose your lunch over? Worth it. Traffic jams that have you sitting in your car on a 90 degree day with your bickering teenage children? Trivial. Just somebody, please, open up summer.
We can chuckle a little bit at the irony, but on the same token, we are devastated and wondering if a summer without all the social events that have come to make summer what it is, not to mention the chance to send our kids away for a week at a time, are going to be more disastrous than the stay-at-home mandate that we just came out of.
Can I be honest? I’m excited. Don’t get me wrong, I love all that summer has to offer. For Jordan and I our favorite way to do up a date night is by going to a concert. Music is how we met, and continues to be a place of commonality between us, even though the music we each listen to is rather varied. Although let me share a touch about myself before Jordan, and even further back than my attending concerts. My childhood.
Safe. Known. Content. Creative. All words that I immediately attach to those incredible days of my youth, under the abundant love of my nurturing, joyous parents and brought to life by my three dear siblings and marvelously close group of friends. We grew up in the country, so in part our summer days were less about planned activities by nature of our distance from convenience. We also grew up at a time when devices were not yet a thing. Although beyond that, and more specifically attributed to the insight of my parents, television was off limits except for the weekend.
So this whole, summer closed thing? Well, summer had very little to do with what was given us and instead what we made of it.
We went very few places except the homes of friends, a couple day trips to Lake Lauderdale, and the grand adventure that was The Washington County Fair. There were no state parks holding animal exhibits, no butterfly houses, no guided nature walks, no sporting events. For all intents and purposes, summer was “closed”.
So in the hopes of serving you with my own childhood story – for our children, and perhaps even for ourselves – here are some survival tips for embracing the summer of bored.
- Plant and tend to a garden
- Go for a bike ride
- Have a campfire
- Weed (and lots of other yard work)
- Read… in a tree
- Make a fort out of branches
- Catch fireflies
- Watch for shooting stars
- Play a board game
- Create your own board game
- Host slumber parties. And then rotate! (Think about it. 6 girls at your home for one evening would equal 5 nights with them at someone else’s house.)
- Find the friends with a pool. (If you are that person, then potentially brace yourself for what the pool home used to be. You will never be alone again… or at least all summer.)
- No pool. Turn on the sprinkler. (I even showered in the sprinkler once. With my swimsuit on mind you. But why not! It was summer!)
- Backyard tournaments.
Every Tuesday night we played volleyball at a friends house for a couple of hours. Once it got dark and we couldn’t see the volleyball anymore, us teenagers would typically turn the outside lights on and play basketball or roller hockey on the driveway. Tip: I bet the street would work too if you have some orange cones.
- Put on productions
- Dance
- Build something
- Go camping… in the yard.
- Make something and sell it
- Decorate your room. Or just clean your room.
- Write a story
- Make a movie
- Draw or paint what you see.
- Create a comic book story and illustrate it (Okay, this wasn’t from my child- but it was from Jordans!)
- Have a picnic
- Go hiking
- Write a song
- Keep a bird watching journal
- Get a camera (not your phone) and take photographs. Print them up and create an album or scrap book.
- Pick berries
- Serve someone
You might regard some of these as overly simple. Or perhaps you’re thinking, my kids will get through this list in a few days and we’ll be back to boredom. Keep in mind, this was my summer, over and over and over again. Although I recognize our children have shorter attention spans, are accustomed to being entertained, and the older they grow, it seems they just want to be on their phones. Perhaps in part we have made them so.
We have devalued the beauty of boredom. When on the other side of boredom comes creativity. On the other side of creativity, a sense of self. And on the other side of self, worship.
Eve, our four year old, has recently committed to memory these words: “You have knit me together in my mother’s womb. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Although if Eve is more often exclusively told how to be creative, or her senses are scheduled, or her mind only stimulated by the ideas of others (i.e. all forms of media, social or not), then her starting point for self will be built on another’s creativity. She will only know in part how she has been made, and so limit her understanding of the God who has made her.
As much as I love engaging our children in outdoor excursions and well-planned family outings, and even find them of great value, I also eagerly want our daughters to find boredom. When you are bored you have to press into what interests you, and merry that with your own creativity. When you are bored you allow your mind to be still long enough to discover a deep well of thought. When you are bored you are at first uncomfortable. Maybe even frustrated. Until you realize that you are capable of moving beyond the uncomfortable by your own thought, rather than succumbing to it by somebody else’s. In a time where we are quick to seek outside entertainment and even attribute successful parenting to it, what perhaps have we instead lost by losing bored? More specifically what have we lost by losing beyond bored?
My girls are sleeping as I write this. One in my arms and the other in perfect view, and feel I would be remiss to not end on an excruciatingly simple, yet deeply overlooked need.
Spend time together.
You don’t need to be at an amusement park or friend’s home. Simply put the devices away and eat ice cream in the grass, enjoy a s’more around the campfire, or muddle through the directions for the sake of playing a new board game. One of the reasons my childhood holds such a sweetness is not merely because of the amazing things my parents led our family in doing, but rather because home felt safe. A place where I was known. A place where I could be myself. A place where my creative ideas were championed, or even just made room for. A place where simple conversation was good enough. Actually, it was the only thing that was needed. Everything else was just a bonus.
Here’s to the summer of bored… and beyond.
EXPOSITION: You’re grieving a summer gone. I get it. Festivals, long days at the public pool, summer camps with friends. Although resist the urge to sit in bummed out mode for too long. The summer has only just begun. And by all means, get creative with your family and the way you spend time together! Look for the events that are still happening and learn about each other in a whole new way by engaging in something new! Although embrace boredom rather than be afraid of it. You will never know what’s on the other side until you get there.
RISE: I turned the above list into a refrigerator print out just for you- and mainly your children when they complain (and they will complain) about not having anywhere to go or anything to do. Have a family discussion about it. State the obvious: this summer is going to be different. But as parents we lead the tone of our families. Your disposition can be grievous and discouraged all summer long, which they will latch onto and identify with, or you can bring an air of excitement to all that this summer could be.
DENOUEMENT: “As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.” (a saying of Solomon)
